WHEN GROWING-UP BECOMES SCARY

“Mama, I don’t want to grow up!”

After the day’s work, or shall I say going ‘round our neighborhood playing, Mark’s finally settled on our six-year old couch.

He talks about his wonderful experience he and his buddy, “the amazing spider-buddy,” has gone through. Though my interest was on the early evening television show, I had to shift my attention to my overwhelmed explorer. His eyes glow with enthusiasm and teeming innocence steams through his appearance.

Then, he kept quiet.

I turned my attention back to the television. He did too, but his mind isn’t.

He then said, “Mama, I don’t want to grow up.!”

I felt a sudden jolt from whence I sat. I was concerned. “But why, Marky?”

“I don’t wanna grow old like Lolo. I don’t wanna DIE. Mahadlok ko mamatay. (I’m scared of DEATH.)”

I know if I am going to tell him that Death is a natural phenomenon, he wouldn’t understand. I told him we will all die and the least we could do is take care of our health so that death won’t come too soon.

This must have been the result of his daily dose of “How are you feelin’ Lolo?”, “Are you okay, Lolo?” and all those words to make sure his grandfather’s feeling alright.

This must have been the effect of his daily routine, making sure his grandpa’s taken his medicine.

Here I thought he said those words because he so loves his childhood he doesn't want to become an adult.

HOW CAN "THANK YOU" BE ENOUGH

Most often than not, it is always difficult to start composing the PERFECT thank you message. A million “THANK YOU’s” run around my head and they just linger there for days. I want to say thank you more than I could say. But I guess there is no such thing. I can’t just leave those thoughts die a natural death, blown into the core of my emotions. I have to start.

Photo by Jason Rabi III

I’ve had wonderful “Teachers’ Day” celebrations in the past. But this one’s distinctive. This time, I witnessed first-hand the full effort and passion put together to give us a wonderful carefree day. The pampering. The “Grand Entrance”. The ambiance. It was heavenly.

My advisory class in particular was not the grandest among gift bearers but they carry the sincerest HEART. I don’t think there is anything grander than that.

I don’t know, but I felt every stroke of gratitude and appreciation in their cards, letters, messages. Regardless of whether other messages were written in haste, each one of them pierced through me. I was overwhelmed with the extra mile they took getting other students and alumni to write a message for me. I didn't see that coming. I must confess, I was surprised. They caught me there. I didn’t tell them but it brought me to tears.(Now you know..shusssshhh)

Well, I enjoyed blowing up their other surprise too. (Hahahaha…gotcha!)Indeed, I was surprised with the make-shift banner/cartolina. (You know what I meant Jegi, hahahaha). I had the best day ever.

Wait. Another thing, the cake. It was a sight to behold. I couldn’t get my eyes off the intricate designs, the flowers and especially the color you guys chose for me. Perfect choice. I love the color.

The chocolates I received, the flowers, books, bags, messages they will all wither but the LOVE that was sealed along each one of them will stay forever.(naay forever)

 THANK YOU…………..……. FOR GOING THE EXTRA MILE.

This message goes out to all those who care. To all those who feel for their teachers. The SSC. The PTA-EXECOM.

“THANK YOU.” 

WHY SPEAK ENGLISH

"Mama, ngano sa ato country mag-speak man ug English sa school?" (Mama, why do we speak
English in school?)

I was brushing my teeth on a Monday rush. My son, who is usually ahead of me in all preparations for school, asked me this hundred dollar question, "Mama, ngano sa ato country mag-speak man ug English sa school?" (Mama, why do we speak English in school?)

When he told me he had a question, I was kinda preparing possible answers because I thought he'd ask me why I move too slow. 

This is our morning routine:
My phone alarm rings at 5:00 then I put it on "snooze" twice. After that I wake my son up. He gets up while I remain in bed most of the time because I preoccupy myself chatting with my husband. That's a very good way to start the day. It keeps me alive. 

However, at times, I'm really still asleep. He's voice yelling at me wakes me again. In worse cases, he had to come inside the bedroom again to wake me. And when I hear him approaching, as fast as lightning, I grab my phone and pretends to chat with Marion, my husband. And I tell him, "I'm chatting with dada, don't worry I'm getting up now." 

Well, I had to move twice as fast to keep up with him. When I'm brushing my teeth, he prepares my things, making sure I wouldn't have forgotten anything. That's my eight-year old son.

Back to the million dollar question. I was relieved he asked a different one but it took awhile before I could respond. I told him, the school trains the students to be globally competitive. I didn't explain further. 

I'm not sure he was interested with my answer. Instead, he said, "Aw abi nako naa mga Americano moari mao ga English ta." (I thought Americans are coming.)

A TALENT NOT IN USE

I used to have hands good enough to be able to produce a work of art as such above. This is but the only remnant of what used to be. Yes, I have such hands, passion and dedication. But not anymore. This, I insist on calling “not a forgotten talent” just something not used anymore.

When I was a lot younger, I am full of zest and oozing determination to accomplish what keeps playing in my head. What I have in mind, I usually stand up to accomplish it. I can’t stand just thinking about it. I can’t wait to see my thoughts in reality.

Now, I spend most of my time in pensive thoughts and at times, I just let the day go by and just forget about what runs around in this used to be very productive abode of creativity.

Way back in college, I earn out of these used to be the “purple cow” of a set of hands; sewing and drawing.

I earned when I do some projects for my classmates. Don’t get me wrong guys. When you’re in college, most of your professors wouldn’t really mind who drew whose, as soon as you pass the requirements for the subject,you’re good.

 I earned when I used to sell handmade greeting cards as well. I remembered being so poetic that every time a thought crosses my mind I can’t wait to get hold of a pen and compose what my heart and mind throbs in such fleeting moments.

Going back to the sketch above. That is the only remaining remembrance of my artistry. I remembered copying that from a liquor ad in a magazine. Remi to be exact.

Now, contemplating on the possibilities that my son might take up from me. He starts manifesting the signs. And I know how it feels when no one seems to support and worse appreciate talents.

My son and I started to awaken the sleeping machine my hands used to be.Like most machines, our greatest fear is always when they get rusty.

Of course it can't happen overnight. I've been hibernating for a decade. My son unconsciously awakened me. He sometimes ask me to draw for him but I always say no and ask him to find ways himself. Until eventually I found books to help both of us: to help him learn to draw by himself; to help me teach him how to do some tricks he might not figure on his own.

This is the first book I bought as a first attempt. I decided to buy the book since I was given a load to teach ART class for Grade 7 (Other than the hope that I might be able to regain what I lost.)

God knows I tried to learn painting too... I even bought brushes of varied sizes. However, when my ART class was over, (which I really struggled) I stacked this book in my shelf and has't opened it since then. But I would never say I haven't learned from this book. As a matter of fact I have. It's just that I struggled with finding the right moment, the perfect emotion. I couldn't find the drive.

Mark(my son) found this book and without second thoughts I bought it. This book contains step by step sketches on how to draw animals, people, trucks, planes, dinosaurs ( figures children really love). I was interested in it when I scanned. 

At last I've finally found the book that could help me teach my son how to sketch. This book brought me back in time. The time when I painted a dog on a black cartolina using only white, black and gray oil pastel. I really loved that painting but I gave it away, for a cause.

It was my first year of teaching in ACT. I had student who suffered bone cancer and her classmates, headed by their adviser (Ms. Joan Verallo), sold just about anything during lunch breaks. The proceeds were given for her medication. 

I felt for the kid. I gave my dearest possessions to be sold for her. My paintings and sketches. That was difficult but I did what I could that time. I felt I had to do my part. The sisters taught me that the truest essence of giving is when it hurts. Yes, it did hurt. The worst part is, she died... so young. What pain is ever comparable to death?

It was also the sisters who made me cultivate my art. The job of doing the bulletin to welcome visitors during special occasions was always given to me. I was given only colored chalk and the green board to do the task. I was happy with that job. I learned that craft because they believed in me.

Recently, I only have visions of those. And I realized, I shouldn't have stopped. I shouldn't have. Now, I'm back to square one. Does it really matter?

CNN REPORTER WANNABEE

BAGHDAD CAR BOMB KILLS AT LEAST 10 AND WOUNDS 70

At least 10 people were killed and 70 people wounded when a parked car bomb detonated in Baghdad's Sadr City district.

The car bomb detonated in Al-Habibiya and targeted car dealerships selling  used and new cars.

***** This is for a class performance

WHEN MOM WORKS

"Kapoy mag teacher, ma?" 

        It was midday on a typical Sunday. I was seated in a lousy position on my swivel chair at the remote corner of our living room (let's pretend we have a huge house) holding a red pen on my hand. On the computer table (yes, computer table but there ain't any PC at all but atop is a printer) are test papers.
        Well, you've guessed it right. I'm checking test papers.
Then my son came home from his to and fro routine (friend's house back to our house) to drink water or if not to get orders from his ice pop business (now ice cream stick). He took a bottle of water from the fridge. Took a huge gulp. Paused a while. And asked.

"Kapoy mag teacher, ma?" (Is it tiring to be a teacher, ma?)

        Instead of answering the question, I asked him another. "Why do you ask?"

"Dili ko ganahan kapoyon ka." (I don't want to see you stressed out.), he said.

Isn't that the sweetest thing?

WHEN A SON NEEDS HIS FATHER

"I'm a business boy." he said.

Days after his father left for the Middle East, he thought of a lot of things. One of which is starting a small business. He once told me about the idea and I just nodded. I didn't really entertain the thought that much.

The next day I came home. He came rushing to the door to welcome me with much enthusiasm.

"Ma, I sold my ice pops."

I bought him those ice pops days ago for his consumption, of course. My husband and I stack goodies in the fridge for our dear boy (He's just eight years old). To my surprise, he said he sold them all. I froze.

I never thought he was serious about doing a business. In response to the very shocking turn of events, I brought him to the grocery store the next day and bought him a couple packs of ice pops. We also came across a cardboard with holes and numbers above each. From the holes hang balloons in varied sizes. Whoever wants to buy a balloon needs to pick a number to identify the size of the balloon he/she gets.

"So, you're a businessman huh!", I said as I patted his shoulders.

"I'm a businessboy, ma.", he said with pure innocence glowing in his eyes. "I'm not a man yet, I'm just a boy.", he added.

I told his father about his son's recent inclination to business. He felt pity, instead. I told him he should be proud. Of course, he is proud. Which father wouldn't? I asked my son why he is doing business all of a sudden. His reply tore my heart into pieces.

"So that Papa wouldn't go abroad anymore."

I wasn't able to say a word. There was just silence and my son just returned to his childish plays while I remain glued in my seat.

HOW A CHILD IS BORN

These photos are not mine. I found them on Facebook posted by So Bad So Good and they hit me at first glance.

So Bad So Good wrote:
"Swedish photographer Lennart Nilsson spent 12 years of his life taking pictures of the fetus developing in the womb. These incredible photographs were taken with conventional cameras with macro lenses, an endoscope and scanning electron microscope. Nilsson used a magnification of hundreds of thousands and "worked" right in the womb. his first photo of the human fetus was taken in 1965."

The human body is indeed packed with incredible living machines only a miracle can totally explain and the roots of its true origin, faith. Science, on the other hand, is this magnificent aid that surrounds the universe to help us unravel its wonders bit by bit.

My gynecologist once told me that having a child is a miracle. It is not something we can just form by wanting it. She said, it must be accompanied by FAITH.

My husband and I have been wanting to have another child. It's been three months and he's going back abroad to work, still I couldn't get pregnant. I prayed that I'd accept whatever there is in store for us but we'll never stop trying. I'll never stop believing.

So you'll understand how fascinated I am upon looking at these pictures.

Sperm in the Fallopian Tube

Will they have a date?

The Fallopian Tube

Two sperms contacting with the egg cell

The winning sperm

Winning moments

8 days. The human embryo is attached to the wall of the uterus

The brain starts to develop in the human embryo.

24 days. The one-month-old embryo has no skeleton yet. There is only a heart that starts beating on the 18th day.

4 weeks

5 weeks. Approximately 9 mm. You can now distinguish the face with holes for eyes, nostrils and mouth.

40 days. Embryonic cells form the placenta. This organ connects the embryo to the uterine wall allowing nutrient uptake, waste elimination and gas exchange via the woman's blood supply.

8 weeks. The rapidly-growing embryo is well protected in the fetal sac.

16 weeks. the fetus uses its hands to explore its own body and its surroundings.

16 weeks. the fetus uses its hands to explore its own body and its surroundings.

The skeleton consists mainly of flexible cartilage. A network of blood vessels is visible through the thin skin.

18 weeks. Approximately 14 cm. The fetus can now perceive sounds from the outside world.

19 weeks

19 weeks. Approximately 20 cm. Woolly hair, known as lanugo, cover the entire head.

24 weeks

26 weeks

6 months. The little human is getting ready to leave the uterus. It turns upside down because
 it will be easier to get out this way.

36 weeks. The child will see the world in 4 weeks.

Wonderful, ain't it?..... I'm going to have another child if that is how the Grand Design of things dictate. Having a child is a blessing.

HOW TO MAKE A CROSSWORD PUZZLE

     Technology makes life easy. There is no doubt about that. Most of the time all you gotta do is “copy and paste” or “drag and drop” and the like. Why complicate things when there is an easy way? Completely understandable.

     The Philippines being a third world country, may have embraced technology, but let’s face it, most school’s are not abreast with the latest technology directed to education. So most classrooms are still those of the traditional chairs and chalkboard type.

     The point in all this is that, though crossword puzzles are easily done with the aid of computers, still we let students do them manually.

     And so here it goes…

1. Make a list of words depending on the topic or theme of your choice.

2. Prepare the materials: pencil, ruler, eraser, marker and bond paper.

   * Or if you have a graphing paper, you need not necessarily have to prepare all the aforementioned.

3. Draw horizontal and vertical lines using your pencil and ruler to form grids/blocks.

* Or if you have a graphing paper, you need not go through all the aforementioned.

4. Write the words lightly across or down the grids. Make sure to use pencil to easily erase the words later.

* Each word must be formed as part of another. In other words, they must be connected.

5. Assign numbers to each word. The numbers must be written in the first letter of every word.

* A word that is formed from the same beginning letter is assigned only to one number.

6. Trace the blocks containing letters with a marker. Then, shade the empty grids/blocks.

7. On a separate sheet, list down all the words(including the numbers) written ACROSS and those that are written DOWNwards.

* This only serves as basis for the next step.

8. Below your crossword puzzle, write questions/meanings/synonyms/clues that give hint to the missing words. Classify the clues as ACROSS or DOWN.

9. Erase the letters you wrote on each block leaving only the numbers.

10.         Now, you have a crossword puzzle. You are now ready to ask a friend to answer it.

IT PAYS TO ALWAYS HAVE A CONTINGENCY PLAN. So no matter which road life may drag our feet into, we will always find a way to get through it because we’ve been trained with the basics. We do not only go to school in order to get a degree. We go to school to be educated, to be streetwise and be prepared for life.

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When Fear Strikes ---

A police officer surveys the damage following a 7.2-magnitude earthquake that hit Cebu city (2013) .....pbsn.bisayans.com..... image from Google

                 I already forgot how real fear really feels like in a long time now. I know one thing though, it can either make or break you.

                 It was October 14, anxiety struck the ACT walls. A huge announcement hit us. In a week we are going to prepare for accreditation, the PACUCOA(Philippine Association of Colleges and Universities Commission On Accreditation) pre-visit. So we rushed to plan for it since the following day was a holiday. We planned to come to school to make preparations.

                 That night I hushed to sleep with big plans in mind. Then came the morning whispering to remind me today is going to be a busy day.

             Unfortunately, nature has big plans as well, she woke me up in a strange scenario. She seemed to have rocked my bed with forceful hands telling me to get up. It was a 7.2 magnitude earthquake with the epicenter situated in Bohol.

I shrunk in fear. Grabbed my son. Called my Maker out loud. “Lord, please! Lord!” I went on till the shaking ceased.

             My “fear meter” as I’d like to call it, went higher the earthquake’s magnitude. It went beyond the boundaries of my capacity to hold it in. I kept telling myself everything’s gonna be fine. But I felt otherwise.

                 For the first time, I wasn’t able to explain nor define what I was so scared of. Was it death? Was it property damage? Was it losing someone special? I don’t have the answers to my questions. All I know was that I was so scared.

                However, that fear didn’t break me,(though I broke to tears a couple times).That prayer Mrs. Basco, Allen’s mom, sent me helped me stand firm in every aftershock.

“Father God, we ask humbly that you spare our families, relatives and our nation from the threat of this earthquake. We lift our safety unto your loving arms and shield us from destruction. We ask this in the name of Jesus our Lord and Savior. Amen.”

                One ginormous truth hit me. Fear is that same skeleton I despised when I was a child. It is my perspective that changed. There’s a lot of people I care about now. That’s fear’s leverage over me. And that very same reason too is my leverage over fear.

IDEAL or REAL

What we see on TV. What we’ve read on the news. What we’ve heard and seen the society is trying to impose affect how a thing is portrayed as IDEAL. That notion of what is ideal may have ruined most relationships. That, if we do not know the difference between “real” and “ideal”. The latter is superficial.

When you marry, you might have that ideal partner in mind. However, always barricade your heart with emotions that are real. Do not be overly fascinated with the sentiments of a fairy tale.

I, on the other hand, am blessed to have found a man I love and most of all, a man who loves me back. I couldn’t recall having to paint the IDEAL man in my head. I only see love stories in movies and they all seem surreal.

As a housewife, I’d say, I’m no good. See, I’m not an ideal wife myself. So, what right do I have to desperately crave for an ideal husband? I hate doing household chores. I don’t cook. I don’t do the dishes. I don’t clean the house. But I hate even a single stench of a foul smell.

As a mother, with confidence, I’d say, I’m a loving one as much as I’m a very loving and passionate wife. I may not be the type who runs around to play with my son, but I assure him I am there to appreciate him. I am there to understand and support him. It is really difficult for me to be around children. I just do not know how to linger in their horizon. Well, I couldn’t even recall being a child myself. I grew up worrying about a lot of things. I grew up scared of situations I am helpless with. I grew up crying, wondering, and confused what predicament the world put me in. This explains why I want my child to be carefree and not worry about problems only the adults should carry.

My husband, well what can I say, he’s not who I dreamed of (of course I do not know how to envision a boyfriend), but if there are blur images of the man, with overflowing pride, I’d say, he surpassed that man.

My son always tells me how boring our life is without his father. Oh yeah, I’m boring. I’m pretty serious, but I’m not uptight. There’s a difference folks. With my husband’s presence in our dear abode, squeals of laughter reverberate in the unpainted walls of our promising home. He fills what I lack.

He cooks our meals. He cleans the house so well. He runs around to play with our kid. He is a sight to behold. When he is away, he always has to ask of whether or not we have eaten. If we have not, he’d always say, “I could have cooked for you. Don’t worry, when I get home, you’ll never miss a delicious meal. You’ll need not to buy ready-cooked meal.”

When he’s home, he always checks our fingernails (mine and my son’s). He makes sure we go to school with our shoes clean and polished. He makes sure we come home to a clean and orderly house and a sumptuous meal on the table.

When he’s away, we thrive but it is a lot different, way too different when he’s home. He needs to be away, for us.

………….. happy father’s day my dear Marion

MEDIA, ADOLESCENCE, MARRIAGE

      Media representations influence teenage eating, smoking and drinking habits, adolescents are almost certainly affected — negatively — by sexual references and images from television, in movies and video games, in music, in magazines and on Web sites (Brody, 2006).

     This makes raising teens a lot more challenging, a lot more difficult than it already is.

     Well, cliché has it, parenting does not come with a manual though you could try Google and ask how to raise teens. For sure WikiAnswer could give you one but it is never enough since the teens we raise come in different packages. Teaching kids how to value family is another difficult path to trudge considering the generous provisions of the internet and the media in general.

     Brody (2006) said that American teenagers have been observed to have no trouble accessing graphic sexual presentations and they are not even restricted from hearing inappropriate words and thoughts from popular songs despite the high-end technology named V-chips used for movie rating and televised warnings of appropriateness for young people. Education now becomes a minute thing compared to the gigantic influx of graphic messages that portray sexual activity particularly those that talk about or even portray unprotected sex outside of marriage. They come in handy just like eating Big Mac or drinking Coke.

    Perhaps you may say, that is America and this is Philippines. Well, don’t put your guards down because children nowadays, regardless of culture, race and religion are born in the internet era and there are many things they understand about media and the world wide web that parents may poorly have a grasp about.

     Filipinos, on the other hand, put great value to family and religion. This is why the Catholic Church plays a greater role on how Filipinos live their lives (that doesn’t exclude the bills passed to the senate). However, the Catholic Church has been facing the same problem as the Filipino parents are. 

     Fr. Favie Faldas, an organizer of the National Youth Day (NYD), admitted that the Catholic Church is losing influence over the youth because of their exposure to the Internet and the popular social networking websites where they see other people standing up against the teachings of the Church (Macairan, 2011).

     

    The Filipino movies also play great roles on how we perceive the sanctity of marriage which we firmly believe should bind families together.

     The more Filipinos watch movies about extramarital relationships like; The Mistress, No Other Woman, A Secret Affair and the like, almost shown consecutively, lightens the notion of illicit love affairs; thus, making having such affair to be just normal. Furthermore, these affairs are even glamorized in movies, soap operas, romance novels, and TV shows of all kinds. And eventually makes audiences even grow curious; As an article in mynewdesk.com (2016) says, "Public disclosure of public figures having affairs is headline news because we are fascinated and titillated by hearing of others' affairs." 

     Well, I should say the Movie and Television Review and Classification Board (MTRCB) should also look and perhaps regulate at how frequent such themes should come up in our television screens; If it is truly the welfare of the children and adolescent audiences they aim to protect. Just pause for a second and think of the effect this may bring to our adolescents. The kind of marriage they would have in the future. The kind of children and this goes ad infinitum. 

        It's time to break the cycle while we still can.

References

Brody, J. (2006, February 7). Media affects teens' sexuality. The New York 

       Times. https://www.theledger.com/article/LK/20060207/News/608122469/LL

Macairan, E. (2011, November 16). Catholic church losing influence over youth. Philstar

      Global. https://www.philstar.com/headlines/2011/11/16/748260/catholic-church-losing-influence

      over-youth

Why do people have affairs. (2016, October 15). https://www.mynewsdesk.com/ca/passionate-life

      seminars/pressreleases/why-do-people-have-affairs-1606760