The way we communicate is a reflection of our personality and of the kind of relationship we are capable of establishing. How we interact with strangers and the people we know and how we present ourselves to those around us is basically governed by communication.
If we learn to understand the way we communicate, we would learn to understand others as well. Learning the different faces of communication is of great help in conflict resolution; with this, we will have successful relationships among our co-workers, our bosses and even our family and friends.
Here are the four basic COMMUNICATION STYLES personified by the different characteristics of the communicators indicated in the following.
The passive communicator is constantly holding back personal opinions and is yielding to others in order to avoid conflict. In so doing he simply accepts the opinion of others because he doesn't want to stir trouble or even upset them. When a passive communicator decides to express what he thinks, he does it in a very cautious manner: speaking in a very quiet tone of voice. This type of communication is easily recognized when the communicator avoids eye contact. More often than not, this is the best type of communication we use when trouble or conflict is heavily stirred. However, this behavior may lead to misunderstanding and may even trigger deeper conflicts when not controlled.
An aggressive communicator will do his best to protect his ideas, thus he wants his ways to be accepted regardless of what others may feel. He often does this with a loud and always seemingly angry approach because he wants to intimidate others. By so doing, no one will question his ideas out of fear; therefore, the aggressive communicator wins. Because he thinks that presenting his ideas is always a battle to win and that he should win, he tends to be rude and controlling. He even blames and criticizes; worse, he threatens and attacks. In other words, he is defensive and will become hostile when confronted by others. However, the aggressive communicator can also be considered leaders and can even command respect particularly to those around him whom he knows very well.
The passive-aggressive communicator may look cooperative but may silently be doing the opposite. He often mutters to himself but never confronts the person or any issues. This is because deep inside he may feel powerless or stuck which may further lead to resentment and eventually makes him act out in subtle or indirect and even secret means. But amid all that, he wants to exert control over others by being sarcastic and avoiding conversation. This also shows how limited his concern for others is. Beware of the passive-aggressive communicator because he tends to get payback when his ideas are overlooked. He may tend to look alright but he only does that to get his revenge perhaps in a later time. When his revenge is actualized, he may tend to enjoy seeing other's fail for not doing his way in the first place. Scheming brute, is he not?
The assertive communicator shares and owns his ideas but balances a respect for themselves and for others as well. There is an open communication when speaking to an assertive communicator. Other than using a calm, clear tone of voice he does not interrupt others but he can avoid being manipulated. He always stays in control of himself; as a result he tends to earn respect from those around him. This circumstance allows growth as everyone is involved; thus, open to different opinions and ideas. The good thing about the assertive communicator is that because he owns his opinions and actions, he never resort to blaming.
The assertive communication style maybe the most efficient style that would lead to respectful, productive and long-term relationships but bear in mind that most of us don't use a single communication style. We vary depending on the circumstances laid in front of us. Surviving in daily encounters may be attributed to your knowledge in the different communication styles. Lastly, may the style you choose to survive does not harm others in return. Be fair and be just because this world is meant to be shared by everyone who dwells in it.
References:
Exploring your communication style. (2020). Retrieved from
Effective Communication 101. (2020) . Universal Class.
Retrieved from https://www.universalclass.com/i/course/how-to-communicate-effectively.htm
Retrieved from https://www.universalclass.com/i/course/how-to-communicate-effectively.htm
Choosing your communication style. (2020). New Jersey:
The Trustees of Princeton University. Retrieved from
4 types of communication styles. (27 March 2018).
Alvernia University. Retrieved from
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